Today I returned home from my aunt's funeral in New Jersey. I was close to her, pretty close I guess. She was my father's sister and there is all sorts of dysfunction in the family to say the least. But I loved her, and she loved me unconditionally. I can't say that she had a happy life. She was generous and a woman of simple needs. Renee I will miss you and I so appreciated having you in my life.I represented the matriarchy of the family today wearing my deceased mother's winter coat and a ring that my aunt gave me last time I saw her.
I stayed with my brother last night in New Jersey so that I would be on time to the funeral and with no stress. It was a short service out in the cold winter day. After a meal at a local diner I drove back home the 2 hours north.
As it happens every time as soon as I see the mountains I begin to let down and feel myself open. I am always a little on edge driving in cities and particularly today after having dealt with family issues. Memories rose up in my mind, some pleasant, some not. I live in a beautiful part of the country and I appreciate it all the more when I visit city areas or really most areas. What I fell in love with initially the first time I came to Woodstock back in the 70's was the charm of the town. I don't live in Woodstock, but the entire area is well planned to maintain the integrity of the surrounding natural landscape. I feel an intensity about where I live and there is a feeling of the wild there that I miss when I am in more "civilized" urban environments. I any case I was blasting a CD a friend made me of 80's music as I drove into the mountains and finally let go into "the zone". I felt the familiar temperature drop as I headed north and it was OK this time.
The images I chose tonite represent the contemplative state I was in. The painting is one I did in about 1991 and the photo is on the way out to Cedar Key in Florida where my friend took me to visit a couple of years ago. My next trip is to Florida and I am looking forward to it.
Here's to living a full life.
Melissa
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I have a few aunts like that. So dysfunctional, but they have been good to me and I love them. They are both in their 70's, and both have cancer. Their lives are a mess, as well as their properties and everything else about them. Don't you wonder sometimes, how lucky we are to be as "normal" as we are, which of course, is all relative. Anyway....sorry to hear of your auntie's passing. xxp
ReplyDeleteoh yes, sure I wonder at it all. in amazement. My brother wrote a whole episode for "Six Feet Under" throughout the course of the preparations for the funeral with all the family happenstance....
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